Christ, my mind feels f***ed. There is so many layers of indoctrination and rules and regulations in this, whatever this is (Religion? Cult?), its taking so long to process everything. The "what ifs" grate at me the most.
Right now i'm going to either ditch it all at once, and lose everything i love, or stick with it and have a strategy.
Lost for words right now. Don't know what to do.